Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
