Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
