Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
