I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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