we have officially lost it.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
