I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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