youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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