You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
