I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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