I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
