I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
