hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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