if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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