I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
