I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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