3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
