I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
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Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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