How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize