Your mouth is God's brothel.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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