i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
