theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
