Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
