were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
