your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
pray to the hookup gods
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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