Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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