Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
