I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
