the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
