first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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