Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize