end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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