Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Randomize
