Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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