all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
