so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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