lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
