ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
