I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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