Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
