I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize