my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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