Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
