college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
