I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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