do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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