During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
