i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize