You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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