dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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