Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
