I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
