dude i'm inner monologue high
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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