i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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